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Personally crave wisdom from others about handling life’s midpoint hurdles, for example philosophical reflections, fading relevance, noticing one’s neck akin to a surrealist painting along with a recent enthusiasm for A Place in the Sun. Most recently, I read the chef’s comments regarding his fiftieth birthday via a discussion: “Trimming unnecessary clutter is key to enjoying your later years,” he noted. “Just be with lovely people. I’m avoiding negative people – ‘mood hoovers’ – and getting better at saying no.”

At first, I pondered: doesn’t this conflict regarding shunning downbeat folks and mastering refusal? Could that imply he needs to dodge his own tendencies? I realize – that’s typical energy vampire talk, and I admit I fit the description. Yet, we gloomy souls like to call ourselves “vibe suckers”. Please avoid “wet blanket” or “fun sponge” too – all this comparing us to utilitarian household items is offensive; we have feelings (albeit mainly negative ones). If forced, I’d agree to “gloomy soft cover”.

Perhaps you’re one too. Are you less the life and soul of the party and more its accountant or undertaker? Does your detailed response to “How are you?” have your interlocutor edging away uncomfortably? Do you greet “fun” activity suggestions with an expression that makes you look like you’ve swallowed a slug? Can you relate deeply to pessimistic characters; has an intuitive ever described your energy as dull?

If this describes you, you’re in our ranks, and that’s acceptable. Despite a whole self-help-inspired trend urging people to get rid of friends who “drain” them, I’d argue we offer real value. I reckon a mood hoover would have said something discouraging – or at least made a slug-swallowing face – when Jamie described his plan to write a kids’ book with an Australian First Nation main character without consulting Indigenous communities, which could have prevented a whole lot of problems, upset and offence. Such critical insights aren’t typical from “positive” friends.