My One Adjustment That Worked: How I Overcame Post-Work Tension Via an Unexpected Find in the Attic

I frequently become as tense as a wound-up clock after work. Tension grips my shoulders, my breath turns fast and shallow. Typically, closing my laptop with a thud used to lead to the pop of a cork from a wine bottle, wine poured quickly into a glass, that initial sip marking the end of the workday.

Then, several months back, I discovered an old school recorder belonging to my grown son up in the loft. I idly blew into it, immediately transported back to the days it was the bane of my life – his daily rehearsals felt like an attack on my ears, the piercing shriek still reverberating through my head long after he slept.

But rather than consigning it to the bin, I took it down, together with a beginner’s songbook. As a child, I had no musical talent whatsoever. I took recorder classes in primary school, yet never got to try other instruments.

Searching online for recorder tutorials, I viewed many kid-friendly YouTube clips, and printed out a fingering chart. I searched “easiest recorder tunes”, and was thrilled when I managed to knock out a passable Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Yes, a typical young child could learn it quickly, but as a tone deaf, impatient and stressed 51-year-old, it felt like a huge achievement.

My son questioned my actions (and please could I stop), but I kept going – I liked the way the recorder made me feel. My inability to remember anything forced me to focus on the music sheet, and carefully mimic the finger placements. My breathing slowed down, I was focused, and once I’d mastered that first faltering tune, I was overjoyed. I could play an instrument.

Today, after some months, I can handle other children’s songs and a passable Ode to Joy. Yes, my rhythm is off, and I must jot down note names, but for me, it’s not about skill or being a musician – it is simply about the pleasure it brings and how it clears my mind while playing.

I read that only one in six children learn to play the recorder now, which probably relieves parents, but it made me a little sad and nostalgic for my own school days, as well as my son’s.

I try to pick up my recorder every evening after work as my first activity, and during those 20 minutes, I am in my own little world. And afterwards, I feel totally energised and uplifted.

My friends think it’s hilarious, but one very wise therapist friend told me that I was reducing stress, but improving my cognitive skills, like memory and sound processing, which is precious at my age. And in terms of my day-to-day wellbeing, it’s a real “ode to joy” indeed.